manners MATTER
O
The
Practice
of Phone
Etiquette
Karen La Corte is an etiquette
and manners expert trained
and certified by the Emily Post
Institute in Vermont. She has
been teaching etiquette and
manners to children and adults
for over thirty years. She is also
a certified image and fashion
consultant. Karen is happy
to answer any personal eti-
quette or image questions you
may have by emailing her at
[email protected]
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BY KAREN LA CORTE
ut of all the questions I get
concerning manners, telephone
etiquette is probably one of the
most popular. Parents, teachers, clergymen,
co-workers and management have all been
frustrated at one time or another with our use
of the telephone.
Alexander Graham Bell would be surprised
at the advances the modern telephone has
made since its invention in 1876 as a means
of both communication and socialization.
Some folks have even given up their landlines
in favor of the almighty cell phone.
Don’t get me wrong, the cell phone is one
of the greatest advances in technology today.
We can not only talk to our friends and do
business on the cell phone, but we can check
emails, catch up socially on Facebook, and
quickly text folks when we are either too busy
or incapable of talking at the moment. We can
even take photos and videos!
The cell phone is not only convenient,
but it is the perfect emergency device when
you need assistance immediately. Parents feel
a little more secure sending their kids off to
camp or to college knowing that they can be
reached on a moment’s notice.
However, there are rules for using that
wonderful invention. Have you ever seen
folks walking down the street, head down,
phone up to their ear, oblivious to traffic and
everything else around them? Dangerous! I’ve
heard phones go off in church, classrooms,
meetings, concerts, weddings and even
funerals. Have you ever been on the phone
listening to someone on the other end eating
or chewing gum? It’s not very pleasant is it?
I have to commend my husband Frank.
During his birthday dinner, he had our family
turn off their cell phones and put them in a
basket in the middle of the table. Everybody
looked at him like he was crazy, but it was
the most enjoyable dinner we’ve had. No
interruptions, no funky ringtone, no one
checking their texts or emails. Folks were
actually engaging in wonderful conversation,
looking people in the eye. Of course, Frank
offered anyone who answered their phone the
opportunity to pay the dinner bill!
There is nothing worse than having an in-
person conversation with someone only for
them to take a call in the middle of it. Unless
it’s an emergency, it is rude and just plain bad
manners. The message they are giving is that
the person on the phone is more important
than you are.
Whether you are using a landline or a
cell phone, there are basic rules of telephone
etiquette. This applies to both business and
personal use. And it all boils down to respect
GILROY • MORGAN HILL • SAN MARTIN
MAY/JUNE 2016
and consideration for others.
• Give your name at once when calling
someone. Don’t ask them to give their
name first. Never say, “Who’s this?” Instead
say, “Hi, this is Jane Doe. May I please
speak with John Smith?”
• Speak clearly and distinctly. Be aware of
your tone. This is a courtesy not only to
the person on the other end of the phone,
but those around you.
• Whas Up, Sup? Yo, Yea, or What? These
are not ways to answer the phone. Always
be considerate and have the utmost
respect for anyone on the other end
of the telephone.
• Monitor how loud you may be. Do not
chew gum or eat while talking. Rustling
papers, emptying the dishwasher, working
on the computer are all distractions and
are annoying to the person on the other
end of the phone.
• Do not allow interruptions to occur during
conversations. Give the person you are
talking to your undivided attention. Do
not carry on side conversations with other
people around you.
• When leaving a message, speak clearly and
slowly. State your name, number (with
area code), and the time you called, and
leave a brief message. Do not ramble.
• Turn your cell phones off or put them on
“manner mode” (vibrate or silent ring)
when entering meetings, the classroom,
church, the theater, a library, a restaurant
or any place where hearing your cell
phone ring would be a disturbance.
• Never use a hand-held cell phone while
driving. Get a headset or speaker phone
for the car.
• Watch your language, especially when
others can overhear you. And steer clear of
confrontational issues on the phone. Table
the issue until you can talk in person.
• Avoid talking about personal or
confidential topics in a public place.
• Be in the moment. Have respect and
consideration for those you are engaging
with. Returning calls, emails, and texts
can be done when you are alone. And, it’s
okay to schedule this a couple of times a
day instead of being a slave to your phone.
This can be very liberating. Be in control
of your phone, don’t let it control you!
• When you are finished with your phone
conversation, please say good-bye.
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