manners MATTER
First
Impressions
Karen La Corte is an etiquette
and manners expert trained
and certified by the Emily Post
Institute in Vermont. She has
been teaching etiquette and
manners to children and adults
for over thirty years. She is also
a certified image and fashion
consultant. Karen is happy
to answer any personal eti-
quette or image questions you
may have by emailing her at
[email protected]
BY KAREN LA CORTE
A
first impression is important
because you don’t always get a
second chance. It’s how you enter a
room, your walk, how you sit or stand and
of course, how you talk, including your
tone. Having a good attitude, being aware
of your body language and paying close
attention to your appearance all play into
making a good first impression.
YOUR SMILE can win anyone over.
Don’t ever underestimate it. It is the single
most powerful thing you can do when
meeting someone for the first time. A smile
can make folks feel at ease and it makes
you approachable. A smile is warm and
inviting. Have you ever met someone for
the first time and they didn’t smile? You
probably weren’t really sure how to read
them. I bet you weren’t even sure if you
were going to like them! That being said,
an artificial grin – one with width but no
warmth – is just as unapproachable.
EYE CONTACT is very important
when meeting folks for the first time.
Do you ever find yourself having a
conversation with someone and you notice
that they are paying attention to something
else, their eyes are on the television or
they are reading an email on their phone?
It’s rude, disrespectful, and just plain
annoying. Everyone wants to feel that what
they have to say is important, so giving
someone your undivided attention is good
manners. Making eye contact holds a
person’s attention and shows that you are
interested in them. Maintaining that eye
contact while you are conversing helps to
win them over.
The third most important thing in
making a good first impression is the
HANDSHAKE. A handshake is an
expression of friendliness; it tells the other
person that you are really glad to meet him
or her, or that you are genuinely happy
to see them. When you offer your hand
in greeting, strive for a happy medium
between a dead-fish grip and bone-
crushing enthusiasm. Your handshake is
as expressive of your personality as your
clothes and your speech. Along with the
handshake, you may want to smile and
ask “How do you do?” or say “I’m pleased
to meet you.” Because it might help to
remember the name if you repeat it, you
might ask, “How do you do, Miss Smith?”
If you haven’t been formally introduced,
introduce yourself by saying your name.
Next, I would like to address
ATTITUDE. All of us want to be liked
and accepted. Considerateness, integrity,
a sense of fair play, and a willingness
to cooperate are qualities we value in
one another. Our positive attitude and
our knowledge of how to act in social
situations is one of the determining
factors in people’s reactions to us.
Negativity or personal drama should
be left at home. A person who is open-
minded is able to respect the many
differences that she finds in people. She is
able to admit that the new way may be a
better way than the old. She knows that
if she closes her eyes to the viewpoint of
others, she may be limiting her vision.
The person who is able to get along well
with others is the one who has discovered
that her way of looking at things is not
the only way.
I heard a cute story years ago about
opening your eyes to the viewpoints of
others. Four people were in a barn and
each one had a knothole to look through.
One looked to the east, one to the west,
one to the south, and one to the north.
The person looking to the east saw the
sun come up and said, “The whole world
is nothing but sunrises.” The person
looking to the west said, “You are wrong,
the whole world is nothing but sunsets.”
The person to the north, who could see
nothing but a haystack, said, “You are
both wrong, the entire world is nothing
but hay.” The person looking to the south
said, “I can’t understand how all of you
can be so stupid. The world is nothing
but bales of straw.”
From their own viewpoints, each was
right. But, obviously, each one’s viewpoint
was limited by the size of the knothole
and the direction in which each person
was looking. Get on top of the barn, look
in all directions, learn that your ideas may
be right, but this does not necessarily
make the ideas of others wrong. They
may be seeing the same wide, wonderful
world through different knotholes.
Continued on page 83
74
GILROY • MORGAN HILL • SAN MARTIN
SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2016
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