BY KAREN LA CORTE

Karen La Corte is an etiquette and manners expert trained and certified by the Emily Post Institute in Vermont . She has been teaching etiquette and manners to children and adults for over thirty years . She is also a certified image and fashion consultant . Karen is happy to answer any personal etiquette or image questions you may have by emailing her at karen @ marxtowing . com

How do we get through the rush , the frustration , the bad tempers , and the rudeness and still mind our manners ? Well , it ’ s all about ATTITUDE . Embracing the season will make the busiest time of year easier to deal with than the Bah Humbug approach . Smile . Think positive . It ’ s all about mind-set . Your game plan – to make this the best holiday season ever ! Now that I have you on-board , let ’ s focus on a few tips that will help you keep your cool and make your season bright .

The secret to success in finding joy in the holiday season is ORGANIZATION . Make lists . I ’ m a big proponent of making lists for everything . It frees up my brain from being on overload by having to re-member everything I have to do . Make a list for gifts ( who receives the gift and an idea of what you want to give ), for meal planning and entertainment ( this includes the menu for Christmas dinner as well as the appetizers you want to make for that cocktail party ), and a list for your décor ( when going to Target do you need lights , ornaments , extension cords etc .?)

Next , PLAN . Make sure you put all your social obligations and appointments on your calendar . If you have more than one function on the same day , check the timing . If it ’ s possible you may want to go to two out of three . Don ’ t laugh . It happens . The most important thing here is to RSVP . Practice good manners by respecting the fact that the host / hostess needs to know if you ’ re attending , by her RSVP date , in order to plan for the party .

WHAT TO WEAR – When all else fails , ladies wear that little black dress . That dress or black pants suit can be dressed up with a red or green jacket , jewelry to match , or a fabulous shoe that no one can take their eyes off of . Gentlemen can always wear black or brown slacks and a crisp white shirt . When wearing a jacket , a red or green silk handkerchief in your pocket goes along way for style . This can even be worn with your jeans for a more casual flair . And , always check with the host / hostess as to what is meant by “ holiday attire .” It could mean a sweater or sequins .

THE PARTY – Do you have to go to every party ? No . Not unless you want to . You do , however , have to go to your company party . This

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can be a career-breaker if you decide not to go . This shows disrespect to your company , your boss and those you work with every day .

GIFTING – Try to give some thought as to what someone really likes . A box of chocolates for a diabetic is not a good idea . You don ’ t need to break the bank here either . Try and prepare a budget when making the list I talked about earlier . Other than your family , friends , or your Secret Santa , it is good manners to bring a gift to the host / hostess of the party you are attending . It shows your appreciation . This can be a bottle of wine , flowers , or baked goods for example . Never leave a party without acknowledging the host / hostess by thanking them . And , it isn ’ t a must , but good manners to follow-up with a thank you note .

RE-GIFTING – This is a very risky thing to do in my opinion . We ’ ve all done it . Yet , it defeats the purpose of the personal gift . I ’ m not going to tell you not do it , just use caution and your better judgement .

DRINKING – Know your limit . Be on the conservative side especially at a company party . I have a one drink rule for company parties – two at the most . The boss can learn a lot about someone who drinks to excess at the company Christmas party ! This is not the time to tie one on so to speak . This goes for the charity organization holiday appetizer party as well . Two drink limit please !

CELL PHONES – Put them on manner mode at the party . You can check messages periodically in the bathroom or outside .

PATIENCE – Yelling at a salesclerk because they are out of an item you want only makes you look foolish and rude . If you have a problem , ask to speak to a manager .

HOLIDAY CARDS – Not everyone sends the holiday card . Some are inclined to include the one-page letter letting everyone know what they have done for the past year . If it ’ s brief , funny and epic like the birth of a baby , then by all means include it . Otherwise a nice card is always appreciated as it shows you want to connect with those you love . From the standpoint of etiquette , you are supposed to hand sign your name to the card even if they are professionally printed . Labels for addresses are acceptable .

TIPPING – For the nail person , hairdresser / barber or anyone else that has been performing a service for you , it is good manners to give them a monetary gift equivalent to the fee that is charged you for that service . Household help would receive a full months extra pay for their service to you .

MAGIC – “ Please ”, “ Thank you ”, and “ You ’ re Welcome ” are magic words that will smooth the way for better service and create a kinder atmosphere wherever you go . Graciousness , patience and friendliness go a long way to counteract rudeness . You ’ ll feel better for being kind and will inspire some holiday cheer along the way . Happy Holidays !

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