Perfectionism
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The Hidden Stress of Being a Sports Parent
BY HEATHER REID
hat’s the most
stressful position in
Little League
baseball?
Maybe it’s the pitcher: The Pitcher holds the fate of each batter in their hands. Each pitch is a critical, make-or-break moment.
Or perhaps it’s the batter? A chance at fame or infamy, hero or zero. An opportunity to help the team or let them
down. But maybe it’s an in-field position, like first base? Essential to so many plays. Or shortstop, who has to be exceptionally skilled and nimble? Or catcher, the field general with the best view of the whole game?
Or perhaps it's something entirely different.
The most stressful position in Little League is not on the field at all. It’s field-adjacent, sometimes in rickety, rusty bleachers, sometimes on an uncomfortable camp chair. This position can be seen pacing around, muttering quiet prayers and sometimes not-so-quiet swear words. They sit through rain, sleet, snow, 117% humidity, and bugs. They are the most loyal fans, cheer the loudest, and often wash some of the player’s uniforms.
Of course, I’m talking about the sports parent, and it’s me.
I like watching my kids play sports. Being part of a team is good, practicing to improve is important, and learning to win or lose are essential life lessons.
Then why do I find it so stressful?
I’ve always had some anxiety, but I never knew what to call it. I’m a high achiever and have been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. I find it difficult to face situations with a distinct possibility of failure. Watching my kids in that situation – despite all I said before and genuinely believing about learning to lose – triggers my anxiety.
The sports education and mental health support site, TrueSport, says that a parent’s anxiety can impact their child athletes. TrueSport consultant Kevin Chapman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and founder of The Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, writes that parental anxiety is common and can be managed.
He recommends talking about it with your athlete, trying to relax during the game, recognizing the process of growth that happens with each game – learning skills, tactics, strategy – and helping them through their feelings by listening, rewarding effort over results, and ultimately, managing extreme anxiety before it becomes a problem.
W
and
PRESSURE