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Karen La Corte manners MATTER Karen La Corte is an etiquette and manners expert trained and certified by the Emily Post Institute in Vermont. Karen is happy to answer your questions — email her at [email protected] Finding Your Manner W e all have a manner about us that makes us unlike anybody else. It’s our way, our demeanor, our appearance, our fashion. The way we behave towards others and the way we look defines us. Most of us are unhappy about something when it comes to ourselves. We compare ourselves to others, which stunts our creativity and often deflates our confidence. I love watching young children. Children are true to them- selves. They don’t compare themselves to others and don’t worry about being judged. Everything is beautiful to them. They do the best they can and are happy with that. As we grow older, we tend to focus on things about ourselves that we’d like to change, enhance, or perfect. It could be our weight, education, people skills, or time management. How we wear our hair and dress helps define our sense of style—maybe we want to update that. Our organizational skills keep us on track, and our work ethic and ability to plan for the future gives us a sense of security. Could be that it is time to focus on this. Accepting change in ourselves is a part of life. We need to figure out what we want to work on and develop a plan. The first step in moving forward in developing your manner is to write it down: Who are you? Who do you want to be? It’s never too late to be the person you always wanted to be. I love mornings! I’m obsessed with them. For me, each day is a new beginning. Tomorrow morning is a fresh start. If I’ve failed today, I can begin again tomorrow. I start my day by making a list of everything I need 98 to accomplish. It’s always too much. But that’s OK because what I don’t accom- plish today, I can put on tomorrow’s list. And I love checking things off that list. It frees my mind from trying to remem- ber everything. I even keep a note pad by my bed so I can write something down late at night that I want to remember— it helps me sleep better. I am going to help you develop your manner—your brand if you will—the aura or essence of who you are. Each of us is a beautiful painting created by a Superior Being. Even with our imperfections, we are each a unique and extraordinary masterpiece. Every true masterpiece takes a long time to perfect. Some things are unchangeable, and some features, through trial and error, can be changed to make this pic- ture (you) the most wonderful it can be. Every beautiful picture has a frame around it that supports it—that enhances the essence of the picture—you. Let’s develop your frame. Develop a signature that separates you from every- one else. Examples of this can be a color you like to wear, perfume or aftershave, hats, jewelry, a tag line, a hairstyle or hair color. For me, it’s all about leopard—loved it since I was in the seventh grade. Just a little and folks know it’s me. I’m a slave to fashion, wear Chanel lipstick, and I wouldn’t be caught dead without my lashes! (Take note Jim Habing). I knew a seminar leader who wore a hat when she spoke at engagements, a lawyer who was famous for his gorgeous Italian suits, and a realtor with teeth so white that they were considered an accessory for him. My mother had a signature flower—a gardenia. Around Gilroy, you associate Kat GILROY • MORGAN HILL • SAN MARTIN august/september 2019 Filice with her signature art, Rosalind Farotte with her rocky road, Debbie Hoey with her hats, Ted Sanchez with his voice, Linda Pulido with fitness and Don DeLorenzo with his golf swing. And the “gone but not forgotten” Jack Peters always wore black and white—a Raiders style of dress. These are all examples of a manner in which people express themselves. It is the frame that accentuates the beautiful picture that they are. These manners of expression set them apart from others, making it easy for folks to recognize them. Frames can change with time—just like your manner. An ornate golden frame can make way for a simple modern black frame. Or a primary color frame can add a pop of color to that picture to make it a little Avante Garde. You may have had a very reserved manner of dress for the last twenty years and have now decided to be a little trendier in your clothes. You have chosen to change your frame from conservative to a one with a bit more sparkle. Developing your frame can be as subtle or as sophisticated as you choose. Try something new, have fun with it. See if folks notice. Capitalize on your best features, both physical and charac- ter. Ask yourself how you can improve your features? How can you correct your shortcomings? Does your frame match up now with the picture that is you? How do you want to be remem- bered? Celebrate who you are and what you do in life. It’s never too late. Empower yourself. Find your frame— your manner, your brand your unique style. Feel the joy and happiness this can bring. Love your life and the MANNER in which you live it! gmhtoday.com