Karen La Corte
manners MATTER
Karen La Corte is an etiquette and manners expert trained and
certified by the Emily Post Institute in Vermont. Karen is happy to
answer your questions — email her at [email protected]
Finding Your Manner
W
e all have a manner
about us that makes us
unlike anybody else. It’s
our way, our demeanor,
our appearance, our fashion.
The way we behave towards others
and the way we look defines us. Most
of us are unhappy about something
when it comes to ourselves. We
compare ourselves to others, which
stunts our creativity and often deflates
our confidence. I love watching young
children. Children are true to them-
selves. They don’t compare themselves
to others and don’t worry about being
judged. Everything is beautiful to
them. They do the best they can and
are happy with that.
As we grow older, we tend to focus
on things about ourselves that we’d like
to change, enhance, or perfect. It could
be our weight, education, people skills,
or time management. How we wear our
hair and dress helps define our sense of
style—maybe we want to update that.
Our organizational skills keep us on
track, and our work ethic and ability
to plan for the future gives us a sense
of security. Could be that it is time to
focus on this.
Accepting change in ourselves is a
part of life. We need to figure out what
we want to work on and develop a
plan. The first step in moving forward
in developing your manner is to write
it down: Who are you? Who do you
want to be? It’s never too late to be the
person you always wanted to be.
I love mornings! I’m obsessed
with them. For me, each day is a new
beginning. Tomorrow morning is a
fresh start. If I’ve failed today, I can
begin again tomorrow. I start my day
by making a list of everything I need
98
to accomplish. It’s always too much. But
that’s OK because what I don’t accom-
plish today, I can put on tomorrow’s list.
And I love checking things off that list.
It frees my mind from trying to remem-
ber everything. I even keep a note pad by
my bed so I can write something down
late at night that I want to remember—
it helps me sleep better.
I am going to help you develop your
manner—your brand if you will—the
aura or essence of who you are.
Each of us is a beautiful painting
created by a Superior Being. Even with
our imperfections, we are each a unique
and extraordinary masterpiece. Every
true masterpiece takes a long time to
perfect. Some things are unchangeable,
and some features, through trial and
error, can be changed to make this pic-
ture (you) the most wonderful it can be.
Every beautiful picture has a frame
around it that supports it—that enhances
the essence of the picture—you.
Let’s develop your frame. Develop a
signature that separates you from every-
one else. Examples of this can be a color
you like to wear, perfume or aftershave,
hats, jewelry, a tag line, a hairstyle or
hair color.
For me, it’s all about leopard—loved
it since I was in the seventh grade. Just a
little and folks know it’s me. I’m a slave
to fashion, wear Chanel lipstick, and I
wouldn’t be caught dead without my
lashes! (Take note Jim Habing).
I knew a seminar leader who wore a
hat when she spoke at engagements, a
lawyer who was famous for his gorgeous
Italian suits, and a realtor with teeth
so white that they were considered an
accessory for him. My mother had a
signature flower—a gardenia.
Around Gilroy, you associate Kat
GILROY • MORGAN HILL • SAN MARTIN
august/september 2019
Filice with her signature art, Rosalind
Farotte with her rocky road, Debbie
Hoey with her hats, Ted Sanchez with
his voice, Linda Pulido with fitness and
Don DeLorenzo with his golf swing.
And the “gone but not forgotten” Jack
Peters always wore black and white—a
Raiders style of dress.
These are all examples of a manner
in which people express themselves.
It is the frame that accentuates the
beautiful picture that they are. These
manners of expression set them apart
from others, making it easy for folks to
recognize them.
Frames can change with time—just
like your manner. An ornate golden
frame can make way for a simple
modern black frame. Or a primary color
frame can add a pop of color to that
picture to make it a little Avante Garde.
You may have had a very reserved
manner of dress for the last twenty
years and have now decided to be a little
trendier in your clothes. You have chosen
to change your frame from conservative
to a one with a bit more sparkle.
Developing your frame can be as
subtle or as sophisticated as you choose.
Try something new, have fun with it.
See if folks notice. Capitalize on your
best features, both physical and charac-
ter. Ask yourself how you can improve
your features? How can you correct your
shortcomings? Does your frame match
up now with the picture that is you?
How do you want to be remem-
bered? Celebrate who you are and
what you do in life. It’s never too late.
Empower yourself. Find your frame—
your manner, your brand your unique
style. Feel the joy and happiness this
can bring. Love your life and the
MANNER in which you live it!
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